


Cut & Run Diner Conversation 01: Caramelldansen

by oh_so_shiny



Series: Cut & Run Diner Conversations [1]
Category: Cut & Run - Madeleine Urban & Abigail Roux
Genre: Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-22
Updated: 2015-02-22
Packaged: 2018-03-14 16:21:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,158
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3417374
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oh_so_shiny/pseuds/oh_so_shiny
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When the boys meet up at a diner for food and conversation, hilarity ensues.  In this installment, Zane and the Sidewinder gang take on the Caramelldansen phenomenon.  A series of incriminating emails follows.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Major FLUFF ahead. Also a browbeaten Ty.

"No, but seriously. What the hell is a Caramelldansen?"

"You know. That Swedish song with the anime chicks." Seeing their blank stares of incomprehension, Owen rolled his eyes and held his hands by his ears, rocking slightly in his seat.

"Hey, I know that one!" Kelly said immediately. He brought his hands up to his head and wriggled in time with Owen, swaying to an imaginary beat.

"Do your testicles shrink when you do that?" Ty blurted after a moment.

Nick looked at Kelly askance. "Do I even want to know?"

"It's a dance!"

"I'm pretty sure it isn't."

"I think they're having some sort of combined seizure," Zane murmured to Ty under his breath, and Ty nodded mutely in return.

From his place in the corner, Digger shook his head, biting into a breadstick. "This has gotta be a white people thing."

"Ooh-ooh-ooh-wah-wah!" Kelly warbled.

"Yeah, no." Owen dropped his hands. "I draw the line at singing. Bad enough I know the fucking dance."

"Admit it, O-zone, you've got it on repeat on your iPod right now, don't you?" Kelly grinned, raising his hands even higher.

"Riley loves it," Owen said flatly. "I just smile and try to breathe through the pain whenever she plays it in the car."

"We always hurt the ones we love," Digger said sagely.

"She must love me a lot."

"Kinky."

Zane frowned and leaned in his seat toward Ty. "Is this anything like the Macarena? Because that was fun for about a week."

"Now you're just embarassing yourself, Walking Shorts."

"Shut it, Hot Dog."

"I guess it's sort of like that. It's a song with a little dance that goes with it," Kelly explained. "It's catchy as hell-"

"Like V.D.," Owen muttered.

"One of the kids at camp showed me the video. There are these three cartoon chicks with crazy colored hair. You haven't seen it. You've gotta see it."

"I'll be sure to look it up as soon as I get home," Ty said with the practiced air of someone who intended to do just the opposite, a fact that Kelly either didn't catch or, Zane thought, far more likely, ignored.

"No, let me just-"

"No. Hell no!" When Kelly fumbled for his cell phone, Ty turned wide eyes on Nick. "Do something!"

"Like what?" Nick shot back, his green eyes equally wide.

"I don't know! He's your boyfriend, think of something!" Ty flailed as the high-pitched sound of impossibly catchy electro-pop blared across the booth.

 

DO DO DO! YEAH-EAH-EAH-EE-EE-YEAH!

VI UNDRARAR NI REDO ALT VARA MED

ARMARNA UPP NU SKA NI FA SE...

 

With all of the reluctance of those whose eyes were drawn to a train wreck, everyone at the table found themselves staring as three animated girls with enormous breasts and disproportionately small waists danced on screen.

Nick pursed his lips. "Kels, I love you. I'd take a bullet for you. But if you subject me to any more of this I'm dumping your ass."

"Even if I do the dance for you naked?"

"Especially if you do it for me naked."

 


	2. Chapter 2

Two weeks later...

 

**TO: Kelly.Abbott @ paranormalphenom.org**

**FROM: ZGarrett @ brick_mortar.com**

**SUBJECT: Question**

What was the name of that song again? The one you showed us with the dance?

　

 

**TO: ZGarrett @ brick_mortar.com**

**FROM: Kelly.Abbott @ paranormalphenom.org**

**SUBJECT: RE: Question**

You mean Caramelldansen?

　

 

**TO: Kelly.Abbott @ paranormalphenom.org**

**FROM: ZGarrett @ brick_mortar.com**

**SUBJECT: RE: RE: Question**

That's the one. Can you send me the link?  Ty has spent the last two hours adjusting the spine of every book so that each is exactly an inch from the edge of the shelf and IT'S MAKING ME CRAZY.

He thinks it's funny.

I must retaliate. Drastic measures are called for.

　

 

**TO: ZGarrett @ brick_mortar.com**

**FROM: Kelly.Abbott @ paranormalphenom.org**

**SUBJECT: RE: RE: RE: Question**

LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

<LINK>

Give me a few minutes and I will put together a playlist that will drive him batshit. Have you ever heard of Ylvis?

What *does* the fox say?

;)

　

 

Some time later...

 

 

**TO: Kelly.Abbott @ paranormalphenom.org**

**FROM: ZGarrett @ brick_mortar.com**

**SUBJECT: RE: Playlist sent**

OPERATION: GET BULLDOG now commencing.

Wish me luck...

　

 

**TO: Kelly.Abbott @ paranormalphenom.org**

**FROM: ZGarrett @ brick_mortar.com**

**SUBJECT: STATUS REPORT**

3 songs in.

Subject is looking annoyed.

　

 

**TO: Kelly.Abbott @ paranormalphenom.org**

**FROM: ZGarrett @ brick_mortar.com**

**SUBJECT: STATUS REPORT**

5 songs in.

Subject has begun muttering to himself.

　

 

**TO: Kelly.Abbott @ paranormalphenom.org**

**FROM: ZGarrett @ brick_mortar.com**

**SUBJECT: STATUS REPORT**

7 songs in.

Subject is now attempting to disrupt OPERATION: GET BULLDOG by stealing the auditory device (aka, my laptop).

　

 

**TO: Kelly.Abbott @ paranormalphenom.org**

**FROM: ZGarrett @ brick_mortar.com**

**SUBJECT: STATUS REPORT**

8 songs in.

Subject has ceased his attempts at stealing and has started to whine instead.

　

 

**TO: Kelly.Abbott @ paranormalphenom.org**

**FROM: ZGarrett @ brick_mortar.com**

**SUBJECT: STATUS REPORT**

10 songs in.

Subject is becoming increasingly agitated. It is the opinion of this observer that the end is near.

　

 

About 15 seconds later:

　

 

**TO: Kelly.Abbott @ paranormalphenom.org**

**FROM: ZGarrett @ brick_mortar.com**

**SUBJECT: STATUS REPORT**

He's flailing! SUCCESS! :)

　

 

**TO: Kelly.Abbott @ paranormalphenom.org**

**FROM: TGrady @ brick_mortar.com**

**SUBJECT: ASSHOLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1!**

I KNOW YOU'RE RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS YOU SICK BASTARD

　

 

**TO: TGrady @ brick_mortar.com**

**FROM: Kelly.Abbott @ paranormalphenom.org**

**SUBJECT: RE: ASSHOLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1!**

I don't know what you're talking about.  Frankly, I'm a little offended by your insinuations bud.

　

 

**TO: Kelly.Abbott @ paranormalphenom.org**

**FROM: TGrady @ brick_mortar.com**

**SUBJECT: THE FOX SAYS YOU LIE**

YOU ARE A LYING LIAR WHO LIIIIIIIIEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSS

　

 

**TO: ZGarrett @ brick_mortar.com**

**FROM: TGrady @ brick_mortar.com**

**SUBJECT: NOW I HAVE TO GO WASH MY BRAIN**

AFTER ALL THAT WE'VE BEEN THROUGH WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE??????

　

 

**TO: TGrady @ brick_mortar.com**

**FROM: ZGarrett @ brick_mortar.com**

**SUBJECT: RE: NOW I HAVE TO GO WASH MY BRAIN**

Suck it up, Grady.

Also, I could have sworn that you said you weren't talking to me before you ran away.

　

 

**TO: ZGarrett @ brick_mortar.com**

**FROM: TGrady @ brick_mortar.com**

**SUBJECT: RE: RE: NOW I HAVE TO GO WASH MY BRAIN**

Shut up! I didn't run away, it was a strategic retreat upstairs. And I'm not talking, I'm typing. It's completely different.

...

You know, my only consolation in all of this is that you had to suffer through that crap as much as I did.

　

 

**TO: TGrady @ brick_mortar.com**

**FROM: ZGarrett @ brick_mortar.com**

**SUBJECT: RE: RE: RE: NOW I HAVE TO GO WASH MY BRAIN**

I lived through disco, baby. This was nothing.

 

FIN

 

For the masochists, here is Kelly's playlist:

 

Pfudor - Andrew Huang

The Duck Song - Bryant Oden

Do You Like Waffles (long ver.) - Parry Grip

Narwhals (long ver.) - Mr. Weebl

Gummy Bear Song - Gummibar

Caramelldansen - Caramel

Nyan Cat [orig] - daniwellP

Hamsterdance Song (ext. mix) - Hampton the Hamster

Axel F - Crazy Frog

The Fox (What Does the Fox Say?) - Ylvis

The New Pikachu Song [I'm Your Little Butterfly] - Smile

Ice Cream & Cake - Buckwheat Boyz

Peanut Butter Jelly Time - Buckwheat Boyz

The Birdie Song - The Tweets


End file.
